I really want to have a conversation about postpartum life, postpartum body more precisely. A year into motherhood, and I feel like I am just ready to talk about it. I struggled soooo bad after I had Grace. I was already self-conscious because my thigh gap disappeared during my second trimester, and my husband commented on the fact that my face and legs were “filling out” so after having the baby, I expected all of my clothes to fit me right away and everything would be back to normal! I would have my normal body back…I missed being a size 4!
 Being a first time mom I didn’t exactly have the best time management skills and all I did was cuddle with Grace on the couch for the first 3 months. But I still felt so ugly….And I hate that. I hate that I deleted certain photos from my Instagram feed or even UNPUBLISHED a blog post from right after I had Grace because I felt like my stomach or legs or arms looked too big. I have never been a majorly self-conscious person but I felt so vulnerable and unattractive.
The truth is my body did so much while pregnant and had been through SO much. Emergency c-sections and tons of ridiculous pain meds after are no joke! Not to mention the normal pregnancy “I’m going to eat everything in sight” part of the last two weeks before having baby. I didn’t eat unhealthily while pregnant with Grace. I was very conscious and yet I still gained lots of weight in odd places.
ADVICE FOR NEW OR PREGNANT MAMAS:
If I had to offer any advice to new or expecting moms, this is what I would say to them:
1. if you’re breastfeeding you have to eat.
Do not starve yourself or diet thinking it will help you get back into shape at 3 months PP. That is just silly!!! Instead of getting right back into exercise in a rush, try just changing your eating habits a bit. There’s a difference between dieting and changing up the food you eat. That was a giant thing for me and I’ve felt so much better since. I do not diet.. in fact, I always eat until I am full, BUT I eat whole foods, mostly plans, and it’s been going really well so far.
2. it takes time.
I *still* don’t have a regular workout routine (mostly cause the weight melted off at around 6 months PP and now I can’t keep weight on because of breastfeeding‬) and I don’t have time to eat enough but don’t hate your body image like I did…. Appreciate all you’ve done and everything you’ve sacrificed to create a life!
3. be kind to yourself.Â
Please remember that you grew a human and it wasn’t an easy or short task… Your body has been through a ton, and it took 9 months for it to get that way. Rule of thumb is that you should give yourself AT LEAST 9 months to be back to your pre-pregnancy self, some women take even longer. So, please remember to be KIND to yourself. We are our own worst critics, and i know next time around, I will make a conscious effort to not be frustrated, and realize it just takes a little time.
I can't even explain how much of a blessing this post was to me this morning! I am at 21 weeks and watching my body grow is hard. Exciting, but hard. Your words about your thoughts during pregnancy could have been verbatim out of my mouth. I changed out of an outfit yesterday because I felt like a balloon. I know all the words to tell myself, and I know that growing a baby obviously changes the body…but my head knowledge hasn't become my heart knowledge yet, so seeing the number on the scale go up and not being able to button up shirts or pants has, at times, felt defeating. Thank you for your honesty and realness about this!
🙂 Julia
outfitsandotherbits.weebly.com
You are so beautiful!
I need to write about mine too.
It was awful how I felt about myself.
Thank you L!
Love you!
Andrea Snow
snowbyheart.com
I went through the same thing after having Benjamin.I gained a total of 65 pounds during pregnancy and beat myself up everyday knowing I could no longer be a size 1 after his second birthday I got down to a size 5 and told myself I can no longer beat myself up about not having the high school body…. I now had to except I am a mother and have the body of a mother. I had two baby's since Ben and only put on 30 pounds both pregnancies just by watching what I eat, I am a size 7 right now but I feel better than ever 🙂 thank you for telling your story, that takes a lot of guts! I'm glad I get to see the life you have with Grace she is beautiful just like her mama!
I went through the same thing after having Benjamin.I gained a total of 65 pounds during pregnancy and beat myself up everyday knowing I could no longer be a size 1 after his second birthday I got down to a size 5 and told myself I can no longer beat myself up about not having the high school body…. I now had to except I am a mother and have the body of a mother. I had two baby's since Ben and only put on 30 pounds both pregnancies just by watching what I eat, I am a size 7 right now but I feel better than ever 🙂 thank you for telling your story, that takes a lot of guts! I'm glad I get to see the life you have with Grace she is beautiful just like her mama!
I really feel you on this! kudos to you for photographing yourself 2 weeks pp. even if you did unpublish at the time.
I also thought I'd fit right back into my clothes right away! 2 weeks pp I was trying to wear my 26 size jeans LOL NOW I realize how ridiculous that was. At the time I thought I'd be chubby and jiggly forever. I felt so ugly and even cut all my hair off. It took me 4 months (being vegan and learning to cook) to loose the weight but I didn't exercise so I never quite felt like my old self pre-baby.
This pregnancy I'm eating a lot healthier (I wasn't healthy at all last time) and I've been doing prenatal yoga every week. I still feel jiggly and unattractive sometimes but I'm hopeful I can loose the weight pp. I also hear it's harder with subsequent pregnancies but hoping between yoga + weekly barre classes plus my awesome vegan diet I'll be in better shape than before!
Thanks for sharing your story and being honest. Wish I'd read this a few years ago <3
I loved reading this and i really struggled too. I posted an outfit post 3 weeks after having Harper and honestly I cringe when I see it. I totally wanted to take it down but somehow managed not to. Our bodies are incredible and I love about your honesty! Xo
I think it is wonderful that you posted this. Of course you would feel this way after having a child. It is only natural! It is so easy to have unrealistic expectations or fall into a trap of unhappiness and comparison. So I am glad that you are back to feeling good about yourself and have learned so much in the process!
the-creationofbeauty.blogspot.com
I struggled, and now its even harder bc i feel like ill never NOT be pregnant, and tell me how easy its going to be to lose the weight after I have this baby. A newborn and a toddler! I have gained less this pregnancy than my 1st but I have severe body image issues and everything I wear i feel fat or my face. I see a big difference in my face. A lot of moms struggle with their bodies post babies even when they get to that pre-prego weight the rest is still changed. Your structure how things fit. Its hard. But we have to remember that our bodies are not and never will be perfect. Its all emotional. Im still learning.
I struggled, and now its even harder bc i feel like ill never NOT be pregnant, and tell me how easy its going to be to lose the weight after I have this baby. A newborn and a toddler! I have gained less this pregnancy than my 1st but I have severe body image issues and everything I wear i feel fat or my face. I see a big difference in my face. A lot of moms struggle with their bodies post babies even when they get to that pre-prego weight the rest is still changed. Your structure how things fit. Its hard. But we have to remember that our bodies are not and never will be perfect. Its all emotional. Im still learning.
This post is beautiful! Being strong enough to share your struggles is such a step and you did it! Breastfeeding was my saving grace when it came to getting my body back after both of my pregnancies. After my son (first child) I got way too skinny after because I wasn't taking care of myself properly and eating more since he was taking so much. Once I realized I added more to my daily diet. After my second child it took more time. Every pregnancy is different and how every woman bounces back is different. I think one of the more difficult parts is that we see celebrities who share that they were back to their pre-pregnancy weight and body only weeks after having a baby. Not only is that ridiculous and because of excessive workouts and training, but it's also not really what's best for our body. There is a reason doctors say you need to rest and relax for 6 weeks after baby. To think about what our bodies do as woman is amazing and a miracle. You are beautiful then and now. Love this post!
Wow such an amazing post! You look amazing in every photo though!
Jenna from http://www.visionsofvogue.com
I’ll start with, you always look beautiful. So being honest I have never had a baby, but it’s something I look forward to, something my partner and I discuss often, and something that I think about daily. But it’s heartbreaking to me that you felt so ashamed of your postpartum photos, primarily because that’s exactly what I look like now, having never had a baby. I haven’t been a size 4 or below since high school, and most days I am absolutely OK with that. Today just a week after my 31st birthday I am solidly a size 14, the largest I’ve ever been in my life. And there are a lot of things that contribute to a person’s weight, obviously, like your lifestyle, your time, your commitment, and stress. I have an amazing life. I won scholarships to attend college without acquiring any debt, I served my country as a military officer for six years, and I became a fully fledged adult, finding a civilian job in a large city and purchasing my own house. The truth is I’ve never been happier in my life. But occasionally there are moments when I realize how heavy I am. It’s not something I think about every moment of the day, and honestly sometimes it catches me offguard. When a friend post a photo of me and I realize what I look like…it’s hard. It’s hard to find photos and blogs of women who look like me, but I know so many women do. I’m so glad you posted this. But you should NEVER feel ashamed. You’re absolutely beautiful, no matter the size. Just…thanks.
I love that you shared this, Larissa. I had such a hard time with my body image after my first pregnancy, and even during my second, when the weight gain came much faster and I got even bigger than the first time. It’s hard on bloggers because we see ourselves in pictures more, but it’s hard on every mama, and I think your advice fits for all of us. We have to take time to appreciate what our bodies just went through!